Black Balloon
by Yamiga
Summary: Asami had a reason for being the way he was, cruel and emotionless, and an even greater reason for not wanting anyone to know.


**Summary: Asami had a reason for being the way he was, cruel and emotionless, an an even greater reason for not wanting anyone to know. **

**Author's Note: Hello! Just another little one shot I have. I literally thought of this today. Tomorrow I've got a busy day, I have to remember the poem 'Fire and Ice', by Robert Frost to present it to my English Teacher. So far I have, "Fire and Ice, by Robert Frost..." YAH! Pray for me guys, I need to get an A in English, I've got a B- now. And thank the Lord, I'm some how passing my Physics Class...**

**Just in...43-8. Come on now. (Sorry, football moment!)**

* * *

Asami had a reason for being the way he was.

Dark, mysterious, and in extension even abusive. He birthed fear into the hearts of those he controlled, not even giving one a chance of even pondering to speak out against him. With a glare that came from hell itself, he could send even the bravest men, cowering, on their knees, begging for their lives. With a quick movement of his hand, he could destroy a business, a family, he could take a life. He would feel no remorse for his deeds, no guilt for his actions, no pity for those who had fallen victim to him. He would only smirk, as he saw various lives before him crumble. It was a sin-and he knew it, finding enjoyment of the destruction of others. But as long as he caused it, as long as he was the reason for it, he didn't mind. He was the Leader of the Underworld right? And in extension, the Leader of Japan, anyone would be an idiot to question his authority.

Asami was a stern man, an impassive man. Very seldom did he show emotions, and even if he did, he was probably just putting up a facade. Rarely, did anyone ever discover the real him. He would reel them in, just close enough to scratch the surface and then-he'd distance himself from them, closing off any doors to his soul, and ways to his heart. Asami didn't like for it to be that way, but he didn't know any better. He was never taught to open up, to let things go, in fact...he was taught the exact opposite. To conceal his emotions, and that they could be used against them if he was too soft.

He was taught this at a young age.

He hated to remember that day, it was the ultimate blow to his pride.

OoOoO

A seven year old walked down the hallways of the Asami manor, his fourteen year old brother behind him holding a box of bandaids. The seven year old was crying, there was a scar on his hand.

"It's okay Ryuichi." His brother said. "We'll go to the bathroom, we'll fix the cut it'll be alright." Seven year old Ryuichi ignored his brother, still clenching the cut on his hand. It was bleeding, causing crimson spots to get on the carpet. He was scared that his father would be angry, seeing blood on the white carpet. His big brother Ryuisuke would be there to help him out though, to make sure Father didn't yell. Ryuisuke was always there for him...that's what brothers were for.

The two made it to one of the many bathrooms, where big brother Ryuisuke picked Ryuichi up and sat him on the ledge of the sink. "Let me see your hand, Ryu." He said softly, placing the first aid kit down next to Ryuichi. The younger boy extended his hand, and placed it into his brother's palm. Ryuisuke smiled, and blinked his hazel eyes.

"This may sting for a while Ryu." He spoke, reaching for a canister of liquid in the first aid kit. "But it's going to clean out the cut, then I'll put a bandaid on it."

Ryuichi remained quiet, as Ryuisuke dabbed the cut with alcohol. It wasn't that bad; Ryuicha had only fallen down and scrapped his hand against the curb while the two were playing. Truthfully, Ryuichi only cried to get Ryuisuke's attention. He loved his older brother, and he knew his older brother loved him. Ryuisuke protected Ryuichi, from anything and everything. He didn't know what he'd do without Ryuisuke.

The door to the bathroom suddenly opened, nearly falling off of the hinges. There stood a man, tall, and eerie. Slicked back black hair and a devilish suit. He had a cigarette rolling in his mouth, as he glared at both boys, his sons.

"What the hell is he crying for?" Father asked, causing Ryuisuke to grunt.

Ryuichi knew that Ryuisuke and Father never got along, in addition, unlike everyone else in the house, Ryuisuke wasn't afraid of father.

Ryuichi was terrified of father, but when in Ryuisuke's comapny, he felt safer. Still, he couldn't stop himself from shaking, feeling tears return to his eyes.

"He fell." Ryuisuke replied dryly. "I'm fixing his_"

"Why are you crying?" His question was directed towards Ryuichi, who stared with wide eyes. He didn't want to say the wrong thing, in fear that Father would hit him again. "Answer me, boy!" Father yelled, causing even Ryuisuke to jump a bit.

"Don't shout at him_"

"Shut the hell up and go to your room! Leave your brother to me_"

"Let me finish fixing his cut! He's just a kid, you're scaring him!"

Both Father and Ryuisuke began to shout at each other, back and forth. Ryuichi, as he was taught by Ryuisuke, covered his ears and began to cry. He tried to drown them out, but they hadn't argued like this in days. Ryuisuke was stupid, because even after Father punched him in the face, he still looked like a wild animal as he returned another blow. Ryuichi couldn't believe it...that Ryuisuke would actually hit father even after his nose was practically broken. He stared with wide eyes, not sure whether or not to cheer Ryuisuke on. Regardless, there were tears streaming down his cheeks, as he silently prayed that Ryuisuke could some how injure father.

And then Father punched Ryuisuke in the stomach, and Ryuisuke fell to his knees, coughing up blood. His long black bangs covered his eyes and he grunted in pain. Ryuichi screamed into his fist, as he tried to reach out, bit Father appeared before him, and yanked him off of the sink ledge and out of the bathroom. He shut the door and locked it, Ryuisuke couldn't get out, but he was still banging and yelling.

Father held Ryuichi's sore hand, not caring for his son's pleas. He took Ryuichi into the bedroom, and did something strange. He threw him on the large bed, and within seconds was upon him. Ryuichi was confused, as he felt father roughly pulling off his pants, and then his trousers as he bent him over in a painful manner.

"I'm going to teach you to grow up! Showing emotions will get you nowhere in this world! Do you hear me! Stop your fucking tears before you end up like your good for nothing autistic brother!"

Ryuichi was shaking, crying and trying to move away as he heard father undo his own pants. And within seconds, a pain like no other overcame him as he clutched the pillows, the sheets harder than he ever had before. He wanted Ryuisuke to come into the room, to punch father, and to save him. But Ryuisuke wasn't there for him... like he should have been.

Ryuichi called for him, but father only silenced the seven year old. His cries harmonized with the slow growing night.

Days later, Ryuichi was in bed.

He hadn't found the strength to walk, let alone play. He was confused by his father's actions, still feeling pain from that night. Why would Father do something so cruel..so vile?

The maid brought him some food, and his older sister Himeko came in as two weren't as close as he and Ryuisuke were, and seeing as their conversation headed no where, she left the room.

Big brother Ryuisuke came in later that day, there was a charming smile plastered on his lips. His eyes focused on Ryuichi in a cunning manner as he made way to sit on the bed.

"Finally," Ryusuke began. "I feel a little victorious, staying in a bathroom for four days. I've never showered so much you know_"

"Ryuisuke..." Ryuichi's voice was quiet and shaking. "Father...father did something to me."

Ryuisuke frowned.

"Please don't get mad at me...if I tell you..."

OoOoO

Ryuichi couldn't walk that well, so Ryuisuke carried him on his back.

The two left the house and went to a local park. Both brothers sat by the edge of a lake, and tossed bread to the ducks. Ryuichi laughed seeing the small ducklings crawl up to the shore and still bits of bread from hims.

Ryuisuke sat and watched, ruffling his little brother's hair.

OoOoO

Ryuchi didn't know what the words 'bitch', and 'rape' were.

Ryuisuke and father were yelling again, and Ryuisuke had called mother a bitch. Mother had then joined the fight, shouting at Ryuisuke , shaming him for his accusation. Ryuisuke told her he didn't care, he clearly said, "You let him rape, Ryuichi, you bitch! You're supposed to be his mother! You're supposed to protect him!". Those words were big and foreign to little Ryuichi. He only clenched his covers, waiting for them to stop.

The door to his bedroom opened seconds later, and his older sister Himeko walked in. In her hands, she held a little baby, Giman was his name. There were tears in his large violet eyes as he clinged on to his sister's night gown for protection. Ryuichi sat up and watched as Himeko sat on the edge of the bed. With a free arm, she extended her hand towards Ryuichi.

"It's okay." She said quietly, with the voice that Ryuichi wished would be mother's. Except, he and mother never had a real conversation... "Come on, Ryu." Her inviting voice drew Ryuichi in, as he found himself melting into his older sister's embrace. He couldn't remember the last time he was hugged by a woman, but regardless she was soft, warm.

He felt tears fall down his cheeks, as he fell victim to the love she had born him.

OoOoOo

Ryuisuke was sixteen now, and he just about had it.

Ryuichi was nine and he had changed, letting his father's words get to him. He had cut off ties with Ryuisuke, as he was now just another person in the house. On the outside, he acted cold towards him, calling him childish and even going as far as using the word "autistic" to hurt him even more.

On the inside, he hated himself for doing this, for pushing Ryuisuke away. But he didn't want to get hurt anymore, he only did it because he was afraid, he hoped that Ryuisuke understood. He had to understand right? And when things got better, when father grew kinder , both Ryuisuke and Ryuichi would be friends, like two years ago.

But just for now, Ryuichi had to push Ryuisuke away.

He never knew he was actually hurting his brother.

OoOoO

It was snowing out, and Himeko and Giman were playing. Mother and Father looked down upon it, finding it childish, but like Ryuisuke, Ryuichi assumed those two were lost causes as well. There were four other siblings that had been bent to Mother and Father's will, Giman, Ryuisuke and Himeko were just different.

Ryuichi watched from inside as a snowball hit Himeko in the head. Little Giman was laughing pointing at her with a smile on his face. He smiled at both siblings, envying them for the freedom they were granted, feeling jealous that he was forced to stay inside and study.

"It's snowing." An all too familiar voice spoke, entering Ryuichi's bed room.

"I realize this." Ryuichi faced Ryuisuke, who leaned on the doorway. "Do you want to go out?"

"No." Ryuichi replied. "It's stupid, playing in the snow is for children. I have matters to_"

"Slow down." Ryuisuke stepped in. "You're only nine and you sound like a fucking dictionary."

"And you're sixteen, sounding like an autistic kid_I forgot, you are one."

There was silence, as Ryuisuke crossed his arms. "Is that really what you think of me?"

"It's true." Ryuichi replied, turning the pages of the book.

"Yeah..." Ryuisuke frowned. "We used to be so close...what happened to us?" There was a look of anguish in Ryuisuke's eyes. He wasn't afraid to show emotion. Ryuichi had stopped showing emotion two years ago.

"I grew up Ryuisuke, and so should you."

OoOoO

It felt like Ryiuchi's heart would burst out of his chest. He didn't expect it, he didn't know it was possible... He didn't know that after all these years, Ryuisuke would abandon him, standing by the doorframe with a single bag over his shoulder.

Ryuisuke was leaving, and he wasn't taking Ryuichi with him.

He had enough of his father's yelling and insults, of Ryuichi's ignorance and hate. He couldn't stay with the very family who had produced him-he couldn't stay with the boy that he had once called his brother. But Ryuichi wasn't his brother. No...his brother had died two years ago, after the accident when he fell on the curb. Now there was nothing left but a hollow shell of void emotions. That wasn't Ryuisuke brother.

Ryuichi stood next to his father by the doorway, while both Father and Ryuisuke yelled at each other. Father told Ryuisuke that he would die, he wouldn't be able to provide for himself. Ryuisuke only told father to go to hell, which resulted in another fight.

For the first time in years it seemed like...Ryuichi actually wanted Ryuisuke to win and not only that, he wanted Ryuisuke to take him with him. He didn't want to stay here any longer, forced to hide his emotions, forced to be someone he wasn't.

But how could Ryuisuke ever forgive him? After neglect, insults, ignorance.

Ryuisuke didn't see Ryuichi as "Ryu" anymore, he was just a person that was in his way. His hazel eyes didn't hold a single ounce of respect for Ryuichi any more, they instead held a great amount of hate, the same amount held for his father.

Father told Ryuisuke to get out, and Ryuisuke turned around.

Automatically, Ryuichi tried to force himself to move...to scream...to do anything, but he stayed there, still broken from two years, still unable to release his emotions.

He watched as Ryuisuke placed a hand on the doorknob and before leaving, he turned around.

"Come with me, Ryu." He spoke softly, softer than he ever had in years. "I love you silly, you know that! We're buddies aren't we?"

Ryuichi's lips quivered and his heart beat like a running jackrabbit. He absentmindedly, took a shaking step forward towards his brother.

"Don't toss my heart around Ryuichi, get the hell over here. Let's go!" And he stepped forward, with tears in his eyes.

And then Father grunted.

Asami turned around, and faced him. He wore a look of disapproval as he mentally raped his son, daring him to take another step towards Ryuisuke.

Asami shook his head, and turned around, and walked back towards his father.

He looked back at Ryuisuke, and his hazel eyes no longer held hatred , but sadness as he turned around and shut the door for the last time.

Asami listened for it to close , and felt his heart harden.

He would never trust anyone again, he would never lend his heart out to anyone. People would only leave him, betray him, and if Ryuisuke wasn't a prime example, he didn't know what was.

OoOoOo

Asami was twenty one.

Giman and Himeko had left years ago. After that, the house seemed empty, as the other Asami siblings had long gone. Asami himself, being the oldest male, was promised the fortune. He and his father already discussed sharing and earnings, and how they would go about doing business.

But Asami was done taking orders from that man.

Years of torture and abuse had built nothing but a demon who couldn't execute emotions. He was concealed in hatred, anger, and agony. He needed someone to feel what he felt, that betrayal and fury.

His mother and father were the first two.

He didn't feel guilty when a bullet ripped through his mother's skull, and even less guilty when twelve bullets pulverized his father's body.

As far as he was concerned, his family business was his. If anyone else wanted to get in the way, he'd make them suffer for it first, just like he did.

OoOoO

Asami didn't like being this way.

Cold, sotic, impassive. But what else could he be?

His emotions only got him hurt, concealing them however, brought him to great lengths. He was influential but at the same time, he was feared. He didn't want it any other way.

Relationships were for pleasure or power only. He held no love for anyone else.

Whenever he thought his heart would become tender, he thought of that boy standing in the doorway, beckoning him to come, to open up, to love again.

And like he did years ago, he would refuse.

* * *

**While I don't like writing about rape, I really do think Asami experienced that as a child and perhaps by the people he trusted the most. Most stories focus on Takaba's past, but I haven't found one that focuses on Asami's past so...I made one. It's not so much centered around his relationship with Takaba, but just with his family, if you noticed. Ryuisuke, Himeko and Giman are my OC's. Well, Himeko is my sister's OC! And you may've noticed Ryuisuke was refered to as 'autistic'. He has Aspergers Syndrome, you can read his wiki there's a link to it on my page! As for Giman, I don't have one, and Himeko is Lidsworth's OC, so you can ask her about her.**

**And I don't mean to offend anyone for adding his autism! I base his character off of my friend, who has aspergers, and he is really smart, in addition he always tells me a bit about it. He says he sees in numbers, stuff like that...at first I was confused. In addition, we didn't get a long very well, and you could imagine why. But he told me, while he has asperger, it is hard for him to get along, but when he's with his friends it makes things easier for him. So, Ryuisuke has Aspergers, but he gets along well with Asami because he knows him well.**

**So this is just not to offend anyone!**

**I wanted to also, give Asami a somewhat healthy relationship, so a sibling like relationship. Brothers are close, sisters are close so...I gave him an older brother.**

**Tell me you opinions on this one shot! They would really make me happy!**

**And like always, I don't own the Finder Series, only Ryuisuke and Giman. Himeko belongs to Lidsworth.**


End file.
